Guest Post by Kevin Feig | Walk You To Wealth | https://www.walkyoutowealth.com/
Money is an emotionally loaded topic when it comes up in therapy. People rarely book a session saying “I want to talk about money,” but it shows up anyway. It shows up as the anxiety that wakes them at 3 a.m. over how to pay for kids’ gear and lessons. It shows up as the avoidance of piles of unopened mail on the kitchen counter. It shows up as the fight that keeps happening month over month with a spouse. Financial stress is mental health stress. That is why I want to introduce you to Kevin Feig, this month’s guest contributor.
Kevin is a financial advisor who understands that the math is not the hard part of finances for most people. The hard part is the decision-making under stress, the noise that crowds out clarity, and the courage to ask for help. His TEA framework below maps almost perfectly onto the work we do in session when financial anxiety is part of the picture. Target your goals. Erase the noise. Ask for help. Each of those three steps takes emotional capacity that most of us did not grow up learning.
If you read what Kevin shares and recognize yourself in the avoidance, the regret, or the paralysis he describes, that is worth paying attention to. Sometimes a financial planner is the right next step. Sometimes a therapist is. The real superpower is both, working together so you can meet your goals faster.
Over to Kevin.
During initial meetings with clients, a common sentiment is regret—whether it’s about past financial decisions, not prioritizing investing sooner, failing to prepare for emergencies, or missing out on the latest investment trend. The danger lies in the abundance of options. Investors are already flooded with so many choices that it can feel overwhelming: thousands of stocks, bonds, ETFs, and mutual funds, coupled with robo-advisors, traditional advisors, portfolio matching services, etc. Having more options is generally positive from a customer experience standpoint, but it can also lead to paralysis, indecisiveness, or the propensity to constantly change your mind in an attempt to find the “next best thing.” When I’m feeling overwhelmed, my go-to is a hot cup of English Breakfast TEA, which may be what your finances need too:
Despite what you see on social media, for most people, you may not be able to have it all. It starts with creating a financial plan and ruthlessly prioritizing what matters most to you. When working with clients, I always start by having them complete a “First-Class Goals Survey,” the title of which is inspired by a client who once told me she wanted “first-class money.” This survey goes beyond ‘I want more money’ and delves deeper into what each person truly wants out of their finances. By asking questions like, ‘If you had just one day to live and looked back on your life, what did you fail to experience or neglect to do? Who did you not become?’, these critical questions help flesh out deeply rooted financial goals. From there, we ruthlessly prioritize what matters most.
If you’ve ever watched the Kentucky Derby, you’ve likely noticed that horses typically wear blinders to block their peripheral vision. This helps them stay focused on the path ahead, ignoring the many distractions around them. This same concept applies to building wealth: it requires you to stop dwelling on the past, ignore present distractions, and concentrate on the path forward. The key to building wealth is to put on your financial blinders, allowing you to stop looking in the rearview mirror and start moving forward. This allows you to ignore the noise of daily markets as well as the illusions of “highlight reel” lifestyles on social media. For example, listening to “financial experts”—paid to entertain, not to educate—pontificate on the next recession might lead you to panic and sell your investments. Turn off the TV, change the channel, unsubscribe from podcasts, and unfollow on social media to minimize the noise.
All too often, we forgo the help we need, whether physical, mental, or financial. Financial anxiety is a very real issue that affects emotional and physical well-being, as well as relationships. While there is no perfect solution, the stress often stems from a lack of financial confidence. For example, stress may arise due to credit card debt when you don’t know how to plan a way out, or retirement can feel hopeless when faced with countless investment options. Regardless of the specific situation, it’s best to address these financial concerns with the help of a professional, such as a financial advisor or coach. Such a professional can help you make sense of your financial situation and, most importantly, instill confidence in your financial future by creating a viable financial plan. Think of your financial advisor and plan like Waze. You input a destination, but the app continually reroutes you due to traffic, accidents, and other unexpected events. Sometimes, you may even change your destination entirely—relocate, downsize, retire earlier, start a business, etc. Your financial advisor should help you understand which of these detours are simply speed bumps versus true financial hazards, and keep you moving towards your ultimate goal!
Online therapy for trauma, PTSD, anxiety, and burnout in Massachusetts and New Hampshire.
(508) 318-8762
dahlia@buildertherapy.com
Massachusetts & New Hampshire
